Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Confessions of a "Pretty" Girl....

There are no words to describe my love for Spoken Word, poetry, anything creative. It is pure love.

Cinnamon skinned
Belizean blend
Lord please send me an angel
Mommy works 16 hours days and I only know one way to make fry jack
I gotta feed my younger sister and brother and be strong for my mother
My older sister moved out young.
Please tell her I love her and I miss her
Oh, and can you ask her why she left.
I almost got arrested for petty theft but the officers let me go.
They said I was too young and too pretty to go to jail.
Lord, what does pretty mean?
I mean, I hear boys say it to girls all of the time at school, but they never say those words to me.
They never say those words to me.
Well, he did one time, after he touched me.
He smelled funny and he was old.
It made me cry so I told.
I told.
Lord where is daddy and why did daddy leave?
How come now everyone tells me im pretty except for he and he looks like me?
How come he didn't come save me when my co worker drugged me and stole kisses
Where was my daddy when I threw the punches and made misses.
The thief called me pretty too.
It made me cry so i told.
I told...
and they didnt believe me.
Lord, I dont want to be pretty anymore. It hurts too much.
I didnt know pretty meant an invite to take what you want and touch
And such.
Existing in a world where im afraid of what men are capable.
Incapable of...
Wanting one, but fearing them all
Resting on broken pavement from the last time i got knocked down
Not wanting to get up
Saving myself from another fall
or am i?
Adams broken rib
Whose broken heart was given a bus token by Life
and told to get the fcuk on.
Pretty in pain
Collectively insane
Looking at my scar's left behind stains
Crying cause pretty was an accomplice to the murder of the little girl I used to be
Now look at me
The adult me walking blind
The little girl inside i cant find.
A mess in red patent leather pumps and a black dress
Suffering from a heart condition because of the stress
Loving myself more, to death
and everyone else less
The walking dead in a bullet proof vest
My own worst enemy.
Please, Help me.
My pretty is trying to kill me.

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xoxo Enjoy, Empower, Embrace, Create