Friday, March 11, 2011

Why every man should read this: Self-love: A women with natural Hair

IT'S AMAZING TO HEAR A BLACK MAN SAY I WOULD NEVER TALK TO THAT (REFERRING TO A WOMEN) WHY? SHE IS NATURAL (UNLESS SHE STRAIGTENS THAT) REFERRING TO HER HAIR. YES LADIES!!! THIS HAPPENED TO A FRIEND OF MINE. I SAID TO HER IT IS VERY BOLD OF HIM TO ASSUME YOU WOULD EVEN TALK TO HIM WITH A MENTALITY LIKE THAT. I Explained that the problem is not with natural hair or with her, the problem is with him....Self love is so important for many of us. Lauryn hill said What you have freely given to me, I will freely give

This was my status for my facebook page: Dejavunaturals. Everyday there is a constant reminder of who we are when we wear our hair natural. I hear it all the time, some comments can be hurtful but over time you tend to dust your shoulders off and keeping it moving. I say it this way so that you understand you can not let the people bring you down. They will try but always hold your head high. People are going to say what they want to say and they have the free will to do so, however does it mean they should? Words are hurtful and people tend to forget that. I have not had any horrible encounters yet and I hope I am able to hold my self as a lady if I ever do.

Natural hair is beautiful, it's unique and yes ladies it is all yours. Why not embrace it? I believe that it is okay to wear our hair in our natural state, or to wear it in any state you choose. Why is it okay for any other race to wear there hair in their natural state? Well, because society has been brained washed by what is acceptable and beautiful. I am relieved though that not everyone feels the need to alter there natural hair and if they did that would be okay as well. It is their hair. We educate ourselves on the consequences of the actions we take with our hair, but what you do with it, well let's just say it's your hair to do as you please.

I am not saying we will all like natural hair, what am saying is why havent people learn to respect eachother. It is a choice, a very liberating choice. I hear stories all the time from friends and other ladies about people they meet. Some say very inspiring things others say very hurtful things. I have to encourage them to stay true to who you are, wear your hair as you wish.

First of all no man should refer to women as "that" because of her natural hair and so what if she decides to wear it out, or wear it in a bun. Is it that hard to accept my brother that you have the same kinks, coils and curls in your hair. That your mother wears the same kinks as we do, and it's okay to respect women the way your mother has the right too be respected. That no women is comfortable hearing she is dirt on the floor, referred to as something of a different species because of her hair. While you may lack the understanding of the definition of a man, it is not beneath you to try to model the best you.

Self-love is more than just saying I love my self. I believe it is shown through your actions, how you care for your hair, body, mind and soul. It is all part of who you are. Lauryn Hill once said "What you have freely given to me, I will freely give to you". This is a true statement because when we have learn to love ourselves, we will freely give that back. Self-love. Respect. kindness.

Here are some tps:

~ finds things that you love about yourself, it could be your hair, your smile, your frendly nature.

~make it a daily routine to praise yourself for your accomplishments

~Love yourself like you love a friend, family, lover

~When you get compliments believe them, someone that is secure with who they are will pay you compliments that should be made note of.

~Have compassion for yourself, dont be so judgemental to yourself, it will help wth being judegemental toward others.

~Recognize that self love comes from you first, and echoes out.

~Be kind, be nurturing, be gentle, treat yourself

I always make sure to do the thing I love, like reading, making jewellery, doing my hair or others. I make sure to do my nails, do my eyebrowns, cook for myself, every saturday I do H&S DAY, that is code for honey and sugar day. I take care of my skin by doing treatments throughout the week, saturday is especially special because it allows me to relax and sit back.

I really did not plan this post out, I just had so much to say on this topic and am sure I have lots more, for now I will tell you ladies you are beautiful. I remember being insecure, and shy. I was so shy I walked with my head down, growing up I spoke so soft, but I would always look people in the eyes. I had to really focus my energy on not letting people walk all over me, and show them I did have a voice. My mom used to always tell me speak up, people wont hear you if you dont. I began to write and from there I have not stop. Writing allows me to be the best me, I can be. It has allowed me to implement my own advice into my everyday life, am no longer the shyness person in the room. Its okay to be shy but you have to pull your head up, and speak up even if your heart races, especially when it is something you strongly believe in.

I want to thank so many of you for your continued support. I would love for you to tell me what you think. I am looking forward to your responses.